Friday, April 9, 2010

The crossword mornings...

It was again that time in the morning, which Geetha waited for everyday. It was that time, which she held on to so possessively! It was hers and hers only, she thought selfishly, not to be shared with anyone, even her dear children. In all these years of marriage, she had never felt this close and this connected to Madhavan. She smiled tenderly! and looked at his photo in her purse. oh! how handsome he looked even today, as he did all those years back. 

 She still remembered clearly......... The year 1965, she had been newly appointed as stenographer at the Accounting firm. She had been so unsure of her dress, behavior, her body language etc.. The day had begun with a visit to the Krishna temple. After taking bath, Geetha had dressed in a Parrot green cotton saree with a darker green border, and then loosely plaited her hair. As she was to leave to the temple, her mother had come and given her a small length of jasmine flowers to keep on her hair. "Geethukutty" she had said, "today is a big day for you, pray to 'bhagavan' that he blesses you with all the wisdom ad patience for your journey ahead". Her mother had been her strength all through her life. Even after the early death of her father, all the uncles, aunties had decreed that she be married off early. Her mother had been firm, like a rock through that storm, she had unwaveringly told everybody that just because she did'nt have a father, it did'nt mean that her mother was also dead. " I will decide the right time for her to get married, she is barely 15 now, i want her to be independent, before marrying her off". 
Throughout Geetha had been scared whether her mother would buckle under the combined family pressure, but she come through for her............as she thought earlier, her mother was her rock. 

Geetha, looked up at the clock in her living room, yes, it was time. It was exactly 10:00 'o'clock. This was the time she had been waiting for. Quickly she grabbed the day's edition of Deccan Herald, pencil and an eraser, and began the crossword of the day. She eagerly scanned all the 'across" and "down" clues. She smiled to herself, as she saw familiar words appear. She thought, 'OH! How pleased she would have been, if Madhavan was with her now. She sighed! This was getting more difficult each day. She was used to doing the crossword only with Madhavan. This was their most cherished moment of the day since he had retired from active service life. Both of them would sit on their custom made teakwood swing and gently sway on it sipping filter-coffee. In the background you could hear faint strains of T.R Mahalingam's flute recital, Madhu's favourite. They would squabble over who was faster and whose vocabulary more richer. It was bond that was built over time. Now seeing her inability to carry on with this simple task made Geetha sad, and wonder how she come to be so dependant on Madhu. She hadnt been like this before!! Again her mind drifted to the old days. 

 Her mom had walked with her to her office. In today's world, the girls were so self confident and self assured. She, Geetha, had been petrified to leave her cocoon, her mother's presence, and to spend so many hours away at an unknown place...... Her mother had placed her hand on her head and blessed her before leaving home, asking her to be strong and brave. She had left her at the gates of the company, making her feel like she was starting school all over again! She still remembered taking those trembling steps into that alien place, seeing all new faces, wishing desperately she had not ventured into this. Then she thought, this is what her mother had wished for her and this is what she would do. Walking inside, she noticed the neat interiors, the well-cushioned sofa, the receptionist, all the cabins, and the number of people already at their desks. Immediately she felt a sense of belonging there as she wasn't the only girl who was to work there. 

She was placed as assistant to Mr. Raghavan.... He was in his mid sixties, and she remembered thinking her appa's age. He immediately put her to ease, making her feel relaxed talking about his family and kids etc. Geetha felt it was good start to her career, and she began with her duties. On the course of her work, she became more familiar with her co-workers and in particular with Mr. Raghavan and his family. His wife Saritha was the most sweetest lady she had met. She treated Geetha like her own daughter and she was often invited to their house for various functions. It was one such occasion that had brought Geetha to their house. It was Deepawali and all over people had decorated their houses and their streets with flowers and kolams. Geetha felt everything was so beautiful. She was dressed in a light blue Kancheevaram pattu with a gold border, jasmine in her hair and kajal in her eyes. As she walked she could hear the faint tinkles of her silver anklets. She was feeling at once beautiful and shy. As it was'nt very often that she dressed up like this. As she stepped into the house, she bumped into a man. As Geetha got her breath back, she took a look at the person she bumped into and she noticed that he was a very good looking young man. Tall, dark and you guessed it very handsome. Seeing him stare at her, made Geetha blush. Before either could say a word, Saritha was there to introduce the two of them." O! Geetha, i see you have already met Madhavan, He is my brother!". Geetha pleased to hear that, then she realised that she had been staring at him too long, and turned away. As she did, she noticed that there was a small twinkle in his eyes, making her smile too. She felt like it was their own private joke!! She had felt an instant connection with him. As the day wore on it was evident that he felt the same way. 
 
The very next day, Saritha was at Geetha's house with a large tray having flowers, fruits, a silk saree etc...Geetha's mother had been overwhelmed seeing all this, as she immediately understood, they were asking for Geetha's hand for Madhavan. She had tears in her eyes, as she had blessed both. That had been 27 yrs ago..............how time had passed. Madhu had been the most doting husband, and a great father to their 2 children, Ramaa and Chandru. Though Ramaa was abroad now with her own family and chandru in Delhi, they had been a very close knit family, until....... That thought brought Geetha crashing back to reality. With a pang she realised that she had no interest in life without Madhavan. She felt a small tear beginning to run down her cheeks, and had to stop the cry before anyone heard her! "oh! how long am i going to be like this?" she asked herself. " take a grip on urself, you cannot break down like this, you have to be strong for your children". With that resolve, Geetha walked back to the room, She asked the sister, " Is it ok for me to come inisde now? Has he been bathed and changed?". The sister, looked up from the frail old man on the bed, who had silver grey hair, a twisted mouth and hands that were hanging listlessly on the side of the bed. She smiled re-assuringly at Geetha and said as she left, " Your handsome is all done and waiting only for you". Like she had been going for the last 6 months, Geetha made her way slowly over to the side of the bed, sat down and spoke to Madhavan." Madhu, how are you today?? ", seeing no response, she continued, "you know, i was waiting eagerly for the nurse to finish today, guess what?. Today's crossword has a lot of words we used to do long while back. Remember, how you taught me new words, back then?? its all here, in today's puzzle". Looking at Madhavan she could see some movement in his eyes and she felt like his hands were twitching to grab the pencil from her hands and do the puzzle him self! This was the only way she knew, that would interest him and maybe motivate him to pull himself from the edge of death. The accident had left him paralyzed on this right side and with speech defects. The doctors had warned her not to expect any fast improvements, but had encouraged her to talk to him everyday and try to make him feel as much relaxed as possible! Hence, it was with a heavy heart, that Geetha spent each day with the crossword, hoping against hope that one day her Madhu would come back to her. As the nurse peeped in the room, she could hear Geetha talking to Madhavan, " What is 6 down 'child's bed (3) letter'???.......

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Today i am in a pensive mood. Mind is full of chaotic thoughts. I cant seem to catch hold of one particular thought and process it. Usually there are times when i feel this dull tension in the pit of my stomach, and i would have been too busy to pause and take stock of my feelings. Then as it grows within me, i realise that my mind has been nagging me to slow down and think what is it, that has been bothering me..... It is exactly what happened to day, rather now, to be precise,..... im feeling really tensed or i should be more accurate, as if there is something i have missed doing .... so like always, i sat down, n thought.............. Then i realised that its due to the fact that i am supposed to book tickets to go to Mangalore next weekend. The travels guy had told me last month that its too early to book then, to come in the beginning of this month. I had made a mental note to do the same, and promptly forgot all about it. 

See the amazing powers of our mind, it was mental alarm of sorts!!! if i had been too busy to think it through, then i would have missed this real important thing..... This is not just a one time incident, it has happened to me lots of times, when i have kept wondering what it was that was tensing me up.... then sometimes as late as a day later, i get to the root of the matter!! In a world that is ruled by technology and gadgets of every kind to do our work, we underestimate the power of our mind. The human mind is the most complex computer there is, even then we prefer the mechanical kind. 

When i see my son, asking me all these questions, i can literally see the wheels of his brain 'whirring' away, but on an older person this is not the case. The reason being, we tend to put our super brains to rest and depend on the mechanical brain to all the work. how do we re-use our brains again and keep ourselves mentally agile and fit? Im sure there must be multiple exercises that the good doc can prescribe for us, but then again these will require some type of machine or other to aid us. I have been thinking bout this a lot and realised simple tasks that we do daily can help, prod the brain out of inactivity. 1. When ever we do any calculation small or big, so i manually using the good ole brain! 2. Make it a point to memorise any numbers that come your way on everyday basis, like : phone nos, tally the groceries etc. 3. The best way is to learn the tables all over again, and make it a point to go beyond what was taught at school. so lets all try to be younger at mind along with our bodies!! heres cheers!! to a better future with agile and alert minds!